lilysea: Serious (Default)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to get married, and my fiancé and I have come to an impasse over something that I don’t think is such a big deal. I grew up in a household where everybody had chores, but we also had a housekeeper who came once a week to do heavy cleaning. It was so helpful having Mrs. Lancaster with us. She became part of the family. I want the same thing for my new home. Of course, both of us should do chores, but I believe having extra help will ensure we keep everything organized and clean. My husband thinks this is excessive and a waste of money. He grew up in a household where no extra help was ever there. They couldn’t afford it. We can. Plus, I work 80 hours a week usually. I need the help. How can I get my fiancé to see that? -- Clean Up, Rochester, New York

DEAR CLEAN UP:
This is one of many value-driven conversations you must have with your fiancé to determine whether the two of you can compromise when needed to build your life together. While it may sound clichéd, it is the little things in a marriage that help to make your bond stronger or erode it entirely.

Since your husband-to-be does not see the need for a housekeeper, a compromise might be to have someone come in once a month in the beginning. Suggest this as an acknowledgment that you know he doesn’t see eye to eye with you on this point but that you know you need help in order to keep your home in the manner you believe appropriate.

(no subject)

Oct. 23rd, 2017 08:49 am
turps: (cat look at me)
[personal profile] turps
James was on nights last night, so I had a very tv heavy watching evening. As well as the Strictly results show I managed to get through one ep of Britain's Next Top Model -- yes, that's still one of my cheesy shows of choice. The first two episodes of The Gifted, which I really enjoyed a lot, and got stuck into my backlog of shows that have been sitting on the DVR for ages by watching the first two eps of Emerald City, which I also enjoyed.

It was a nice and chill evening, especially as I was sitting under a blanket, one cat on my knee and two of the others tucked either side of my legs. Though they were all most put-out each time I had to move.

Today we've planned to go to the cinema. We were thinking Blade Runner 2017 but every review I've seen has mentioned how long it is, so the possibility of James falling asleep is at 100% I'd imagine. So I think we'll head off to see Geostorm instead, which I've read is cheesy terrible, and therefore okay for a snooze if it happens.

Someone in the Musketeer fandom is taking part in whump October. They're posting a ficlet a day based on a list of prompts and I'm really enjoying them. But, they're also posting a story they've written for a challenge and while I'm enjoying that too, the story is complete but they're still posting it in short chapters over four days. Why do that?! Post the whole thing already. And yes, I suspect it'll be to get more comments and kudos but even so. >:(

My uncle phoned last night with more arrangements for the funeral. It's on Friday, and we'll be leaving from the funeral home as nanna's house will be empty by then. Which will be weird as the home is at the bottom of her street so by the time the cars park up they'll probably be outside hers anyway.

So it's that on Friday, and then it's the anniversary of dad's death on Thursday. Pauline is having a small gathering that evening. Corey is coming home from university for a day or so so it'll be nice to see him. He also needs to have a photocopy of nanna's death certificate to give to his uni to explain the time away. I get why, he's having to leave during important meetings for this last year and no doubt some people will have lied in the past to get extra time etc, but man, it feels like a harsh thing to do.

I had such a pang yesterday when I realised it was Sunday and I'd never to go nanna's on a Sunday again. It's what we've always done since I was a kid. First to have dinner there when young, then as we all grew up, just to meet up with family. Not every week, sometimes we had plans or James was at work, but the vast majority of time we were there. I suspect Sundays will feel empty for a while.
lilysea: (Indignant)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Q: I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid in a very conservative wedding. I said yes a while ago to a friend that I’ve always “agreed to disagree” with. But since then I’ve come out as bi/pan to most people in my life and I have a girlfriend. The bride doesn’t know because it seemed safer to tell her after the wedding because I’ve heard her say homophobic things about sin and hell.

But things have gotten more complicated. I injured my leg and when I told her about it and asked if I could sit for the several hour long ceremony she told me I shouldn’t be a bridesmaid anymore. I’m hurt that she would kick me out of her wedding because I’m injured and I’ve already spent a lot on her gift, a flight there, etc. I’m not sure I can change my flight either (I had to be there several days early as a bridesmaid and I’m supposed to share a hotel room with her, I don’t think I can afford a room myself). My friends said if I don’t go to her wedding at all now I’m probably throwing away the friendship. I feel like she’s the one doing that by kicking me out over something I can’t control.

More than that, I’m afraid that if I go as a guest or try to suck up the pain to stand during the ceremony as a bridesmaid, that she will ultimately reject my friendship anyway when I do come out to her and I don’t want to put in all this time for nothing. If she rejects me for an injury it seems easy enough to reject me for being queer too since I know she thinks that’s a sin. I don’t know what to do.

A: Ayyyyy. I humbly submit that your first order of business is calling about your flight. Just see what the deal is there.

And wow yeah, she does sound like the kind of person who would reject you because of your queerness! What do you want to do? Like what feels like a decision you could live with. If I were in your position, I would slap a shipping label on that gift and take myself out for a milkshake. If I were in your position and feeling especially obligated for some reason, I’d change my flight to arrive closer to the actual wedding date, get my own hotel room, and be the cutest happiest friendliest son of a bitch at that party, where I would talk openly about my darling girlfriend and share my thoughts on a single-payer system and how abortion bans are class warfare, then leave with an air of smug superiority the likes of which that town had never seen.

Do what makes you feel like the best version of yourself, whether that’s protecting your feelings by not attending, or taking one on the chin to avoid a fallout. Make the decision you can live with, but above all else please know that you deserve friends who care more about your injured leg than the optics of a wedding party. Also, you know who has ceremonies that last for several hours when that shit can easily be handled in 45 minutes or less? Showboating assholes, that’s who. THERE I SAID IT.

https://www.autostraddle.com/yall-need-help-12-the-straight-girl-is-back-3985543/

Murdered Gods

Oct. 22nd, 2017 01:50 pm
marycatelli: (Golden Hair)
[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] books
Murdered Gods by Marina Finlayson

Book #2. Spoilers ahead for Stolen Magic

Read more... )

A Dragon of a Different Color

Oct. 21st, 2017 09:04 pm
marycatelli: (Golden Hair)
[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] books
A Dragon of a Different Color by Rachel Aaron

Book 4, picking up speed so that the volumes are more like divisions in a single story. Serious spoilers ahead.
Read more... )
lilysea: (Indignant)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old single mother of two small children. My 5-year-old son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I'm the only one in my family who has been trained in his care, so I understand the importance of a healthy diet, proper insulin dosage, checking his blood sugar, etc., and that unless his diabetes is properly managed, it could lead to serious health issues -- even death.

I have explained these things to my mother and attempted to train her several times, yet she continues to do things she shouldn't be doing. She stops by my house almost every night with "treats" like candy, ice cream, chocolate bars, doughnuts, etc. When I get upset about it, she'll casually reply, "Oh, whatever. If you dose him for the carbs in it, he's fine," which is not the case. Yes, he can have a treat now and then, but overall, he needs to stay away from that stuff.

It is extremely frustrating that she refuses to listen to me and continues to disrespect my wishes. I don't know what else to do. We have fought repeatedly over this, and she keeps telling me I'm "overreacting." I'm terrified my son will have permanent damage because of this. How do I get her to stop and listen to me? -- FRUSTRATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You have allowed your son's medical condition to become a power struggle between you and your mother. Schedule an appointment with your son's pediatrician so your mother can have the facts of life explained to her. If that doesn't help her to accept reality, then understand that she can't be trusted. Do not allow her to drop by with goodies, and supervise any contact he has with her. It is your job to protect your little boy, even from your obtuse mother, if necessary.

(no subject)

Oct. 21st, 2017 11:59 am
turps: (Governess Mikey ( turlough))
[personal profile] turps
Happy birthday [livejournal.com profile] solariana I hope you have a great day with lots of rest!

We had a lovely time at the awards do last night. Sadly James' group didn't win, but even so, it was a good time. A nice meal, good company and dancing until after midnight. I got up to dance, too. I don't know myself any more!

So many awards to amazing people were given out. My favourite being to a man who'd been a paramedic for 50 years, that's just, wow. It looked like he's more on patient transport side now instead of being out in the thick of things, but even so, he's still out there working.

We had two paramedics on our table, a fabulous lady who was in the nominated group with James, and another man who I thought was also in that group. But turned out to be the head of cardiology for the whole of NE England.

The hotel itself was lovely and set in gorgeous grounds, we would have explored a bit more this morning but James had came off a night shift, had been given the night off for the awards, but then needs to do two more night shifts tonight and tomorrow. So he's crashed out on the couch getting some sleep now.

So, photos. I said I'd post some, then that'll be that. No more pictures of my face *g*

In here )

Thank You!

Oct. 18th, 2017 05:43 pm
otw_staff: 'Comms' and 'Claudia' written beneath the OTW Logo (Claudia)
[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
Organization for Transformative Works Membership Drive, October 12-18, 2017

However you took part in #otwdonate, thank you for getting us started on our next 10 years! We've got some numbers for you about how this membership drive turned out: https://goo.gl/SMZamk

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[yawn]

Oct. 18th, 2017 10:04 am
gorgeousnerd: #GN written in the red font from my layout on a black background. (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousnerd
1. [community profile] fandomlovespuertorico has started auctions! I'm offering One Direction, My Chemical Romance, Dan and Phil, and Disney's Descendants fic here, but there's a bunch of different kinds of fandoms and types of things offered. Check more out here. Auction ends October 23rd.

Feel free to spread the Tumblr link too!

2. I felt very under the weather yesterday, and I'm not sure why? Maybe just a bad day. I can usually pick some kind of main cause or worsening factor, but I think yesterday was mostly just "you're chronically ill and you're going to have days like that sometimes". My planning format really came through, though - I did a couple of my most important things and let everything else go and went to bed early at least knowing that I did things to help myself long-term but that I was still listening to myself. Balance! It's a thing!

(Also working on forgiving myself when I don't do that, but that's what I'm in therapy for, in part.)

3. Wednesday Reading time!

Books. )

Savage Love

Oct. 18th, 2017 09:18 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Parental Controls by Dan Savage

My only child is 16 years old. He was curious about sex from a very young age and very open with me, so his interest in sexual matters gave me ample opportunity to talk with him about safety and consent. He went through a cross-dressing phase when he was small—mostly wanting to wear nail polish and try on mascara—and I felt like I navigated those waters pretty well, but his father made attempts to squelch those impulses. (He and I are divorced. He has since remarried and is less involved.) That's the background. I've always accepted that he is who he is and done my best to help guide and educate him. Then last year, I caught him trying to shoplift a pair of panties. I'm not the sort of mom who freaks out, but I made him put them back and talked to him about his actions. When I asked him why he stole them, he refused to tell me. I asked: "Did you want them to masturbate with? Did you want to wear them?" He said he wanted to try them on. I told him that if he wanted to explore, he needed to do that with a legal purchase and in the privacy of his own room. Today, I found a girl's bra in the laundry. He says he doesn't know whose it is or how it got there, but this isn't my first rodeo. What on earth do I do? If I send him to a therapist and this is about being trans or cross-dressing tendencies, I'm afraid that will shame him. However, this is now something of a criminal/ethical concern, and I want to nip that in the bud. He is in every way a wonderful human: kind, smart, funny, athletic, no drugs. Is this just the same kid who has always been curious about sex? Or are these warning signs of some sort of sexual deviance? Please help.

Mom In Sleepy South Carolina Lovingly Educates Offspring

Take a deep breath, MISSCLEO, or take two—take however many you need until you're back in touch with your inner mom, the one who doesn't freak out.

Your son may be a cross-dresser or he may be trans or he may find bras and panties titillating because women wear them and he wants to sleep with women (not be one). (Lots of gay boys are titillated by jockstraps—but a closeted gay boy can collect 'em all without freaking out his mom.) We can't know whether your son is a cross-dresser, trans, or merely titillated, MISSCLEO, but he's clearly exploring and wants to do so privately. So while he could go to his mom and ask for a pair of panties and let her know exactly how he intends to use them, he doesn't want to ask his mom for a pair of panties or share his uses for them with his mom. He knows you've always accepted him for who he is (but a reminder never hurts), so if this is about his gender identity, well, you'll have to trust that he'll share that with you when he's ready. But if this is about a kink, he may never share that info with you, because why on earth would he? Kinks are for sharing with lovers, not mothers.

Give your son some space, including the space to make his own mistakes. As teenage misbehavior goes, swiping a single pair of panties isn't exactly a crime spree. If you suspect he snuck into the girls' locker room and made off with a bra (there has to be an easier way for a guy to get his hands on a bra!), you'll want to address that with him—not the "Why do you want a bra?" part, but the risk of getting caught, suspended, expelled, or worse. There are too many prosecutors out there looking for excuses to slap the "sex offender" label on teenagers—especially in the Bible Belt.

My hunch is you don't have a sex offender on your hands or a kid drifting into organized crime. You have a slightly pervy teenage boy who's curious about sex and who may, like millions of other men, have a thing for women's undergarments. You should emphasize the Not Okay–ness of shoplifting panties from stores or stealing bras from classmates (or the siblings of friends or Laundromats or thrift stores) and the possible consequences should he get caught—theft charges, suspension/expulsion, losing friends, coming into the sights of a sex-negative prosecutor. (Seriously: A man like Harvey Weinstein gets away with assaulting women for decades, but prosecutors across the country are throwing the book at teenagers who got caught sharing pics they took of themselves with their BFs/GFs/NBFs.) But otherwise, MISSCLEO, I'm going to advise you to back the fuck off. Your son knows you love him, he knows he can talk to you about anything, and he'll confide in you if and when he's ready—if, again, this is something he needs to discuss with you at all.


My father passed away suddenly. I had a very idyllic childhood and was close to my father and my mother (who is also deceased). Upon sorting through my father's stuff after his death, I stumbled upon his erotica collection. If it were just a stack of Playboys, I would have thought nothing of it—that's just men being men. However, his collection contained material that was quite disturbing to me, including photos depicting violent sexual acts and fictional erotica books and magazines with themes of incest. Additionally, there were letters from people with whom he was obviously having extramarital affairs, including during the time that I was a child and believed that we were a "normal" family. Since discovering this, it has been hard for me to come to terms with it and think of my father in the way that I used to. I can barely stand to look at a photograph of him. I consider myself to be a sex-positive person, and I realize that even parents are entitled to be kinky, but I simply can't get over this. Any suggestions for how to deal with what I'm feeling and how to try to get past it?

Parent's Arousal Really Ended Nice Thoughts

Sex-positive, huh? Could've fooled me.

Your dad was a kinky motherfucker—you know that now—and if you've been reading Savage Love for a while, you'll know that lots of people are kinky and, distressingly, lots of people out there "enjoy" incest porn. "Of the top hundred searches by men on Pornhub," Seth Stephens-Davidowitz writes in his book Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are, "sixteen are looking for incest-themed videos." And it's not just men: "Nine of the top hundred searches on Pornhub by women are for incest-themed videos." That's cold comfort, I realize, and it doesn't make it any less squicky, but your dad's tastes weren't as freakish as you thought and/or hoped.

As for his affairs, your happy childhood, and your suddenly conflicted feelings...

Your mother isn't with us, PARENT, so you can't ask her what her arrangement was with your father. But it's unlikely you would have had such an idyllic childhood if your parents' marriage was contentious and your mom was miserable about your dad's cheating and his kinks. It seems likely that your mom didn't have a problem with your dad's sexual interests or she tolerated them or—and I hope you're sitting down—she was an active and happy participant. (Kinky women weren't invented in a lab in San Francisco in 2008.) If your mom didn't have a problem with your dad's kinks (which she had to have known about) or his affairs (which she might not have known about), I don't see why they should be a problem for you.


On the Lovecast, Dan chats with the creator of a naughty, naughty game: savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net

@fakedansavage

ITMFA.org

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(no subject)

Oct. 17th, 2017 06:46 pm
turps: (unicorn)
[personal profile] turps
Thank you to everyone who commented and reached out after my last post. You're all very kind, and it was lovely to see some names I haven't seen post for a very long time. Seeing all the comments meant a lot and helped in what was a horrible day. And thank you to [personal profile] madam_beetroot for your card and lovely message that arrived this morning. I don't mind lurkers at all, but know I'm always here to talk to if you feel the need.

I've been to nanna's today to start help clear her house. I got to take a variety of things that meant a lot to me, nothing expensive or even useful in cases, but things that hold deep memories and I'll always treasure. I'm not going to lie, it was hard being there without her, but it has to be done. It's the first time I've helped break down a house, when dad died Pauline was obviously left behind, so it didn't have to be done. And 97 years of life leads to a lot of things to sort through.

Tomorrow it's my one year post op hospital appointment. So expect one final naval gazing post when I'm home from that.

Finally, [community profile] mini_wrimo is taking sign ups atm on both DW and LJ. I love that challenge a lot and I'll be signing up soon. It's very low key and you can set your daily word target as low or high as you like. As I have very little brain right now, I'm setting my bar low and going for 100 words a day. Who knows, I may even get a ficlet out of it somehow.

Holly_Poly

Oct. 17th, 2017 12:03 pm
knight_tracer: (Default)
[personal profile] knight_tracer
Holly_Poly Letter...

\o/ Poly \o/ I am pretty easy to please, I love characters falling in love, making mistakes, and getting though trouble together. A happy ending is an absolute must, but I don't mind if there are complications and angst along the way. I love all types of fanworks and am happy with all ratings, but particularly love fanworks that are character/relationship focused.

more info )
turlough: teenaged Frank Iero ((mcr) keep your soul like a secret)
[personal profile] turlough
"Wait, if you're here, where's our Frank?" Gerard interrupts.

"Isn't it like, a rule that you aren't supposed to go back in time and meet yourself?" Ray says. "Or forward, I guess."

They're both glaring at him suspiciously, like he somehow killed his future self. He can't do that, right? Unless he like, canceled his future self out by suddenly existing or something. He didn't see any other Frank around, unless he was like, hiding under the bed or something.

"He was only in there for a second!" Mikey says. "So how is he even here in the first place?"

"Yeah," Frank says wildly. "But you remember me coming back, and I'm still around, I mean, I was till now, so that means I'll go back soon and everything will be normal again. Right?"


- [archiveofourown.org profile] auctorial's Too bad I don't remember a thing
reflectedeve: Selina Kyle: "GEEZ, Holly, relax ... next you'll be arguing about whether SPANDEX is really functional or not." (spandex - comics are on crack)
[personal profile] reflectedeve
Well, apart from the fact that everything is terrible I love this time of year so much. I have my favorite indie convention coming up this weekend, [community profile] femslashex stories and art have just been revealed, [community profile] yuletide assignments are out ... and of course there's Halloween and (theoretically, sometimes) cool, crisp weather and changing leaves, etc.

My [community profile] yuletide assignment is exciting and challenging and I am thrilled with it; I can hardly wait to start reviewing the source material! And check out the not one but two amazing femslash gift fics I found in my inbox this weekend ...! Both answering requests I've been stubbornly making for years, too. <3

Favors: Killjoys, Dutch/Delle Seyah Kendry, Explicit. The hot, aggressive but relatively light fake relationship/kinky sex story I've been dying for since season one!

Allegiances: Craft Sequence, Tara Abernathy/Catherine Elle(/Seril), Teen. One of my favorite pairings in one of my favorite series, brought together by an uneasy working relationship and an uncomfortable (but inexorable) divine connection. JFC, I'm delighted.

Sigh, I suppose I should get back to work, which is very boring today. Before I do, though ... I was poking around the [community profile] yuletide community for the first time in ages, and I came across something intriguing: a challenge for folks who would enjoy receiving art treats for their Yuletide requests. Be still my overambitious fanartist heart!

Basically, people are leaving comments if they'd welcome fanart treats, and you should all go add yourselves immediately to: the Wrapping Paper Challenge on dreamwidth or on LJ. YAY.

Pokemon Go post!

Oct. 15th, 2017 11:32 pm
gorgeousnerd: #GN written in the red font from my layout on a black background. (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousnerd
A month since my last post isn't so bad! I went to Disneyland at the tail end of an event and lucky egg'd while walking around in Downtown Disney, so I did a couple major evolutions. And then I leveled while I was there, and played in the gyms...really, I can't imagine I'll have so eventful a time by the end of the year as I did in the one week I was in SoCal.

The details. )

Size 12 is Not Fat by Meg Cabot

Oct. 15th, 2017 09:02 pm
archersangel: (blah)
[personal profile] archersangel posting in [community profile] books

This is one of those books that I went back-and-forth on even put to the list of books to rent from booklender.com, much less actually putting it in my "impending" books list at the site. I kind of regret it.

It feels like it's two different books. One is about a former teen pop star that got dropped from her label after wanting to sing her own, more serous, songs instead of the "bubblegum pop" stuff they wanted. Then her mom ran off to Argentina with her manager and all of her money. Followed by her finding her fiancee (in a boy band at the same label) cheating with the latest (20-something) pop sensation. Because she has no money she has to move in with her ex's brother (who's the black sheep of the family) & take a job as an assistant director at a college dorm.

The other is a murder mystery of the "cozy" kind. I prefer cozy mysteries (where they don't go into gory detail & are light on sex & violence) but this one was kind of "fluffy" except for a knock-down-drag-out fight at the end.
Also at times if felt like it was trying to be a third book about how being a size 12 is not fat & is the size of the average American woman, you know. And if you don't know, you should.

Over all I had a hard time getting though it & would've quit it, but I wanted to see who did it & why. Seriously doubt I will be reading the others in the series.

Looking Forward

Oct. 15th, 2017 12:02 pm
otw_staff: 'Comms' and 'Claudia' written beneath the OTW Logo (Claudia)
[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
Donors in the last 10 years have allowed the OTW to offer what it does today. Will you help us achieve more over the next 10? http://goo.gl/uF2LiA

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(no subject)

Oct. 15th, 2017 09:06 am
turps: (unicorn)
[personal profile] turps
Nanna isn't doing well at the moment.

cut for talk of imminent death )

ETA: I got a call and she's gone.

Nanna Rosie, I love you so so much.

IMG_20170725_143517.jpg
lilysea: Serious (Default)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt

Q: I have been asked to be a bridesmaid by a longtime (over fifteen years) and very dear friend. This woman is the sister I never had, and we’re closer to each other than we are to many of our own family members. I happily said yes without realizing that her tastes and budget far, far exceed mine.

She is marrying into a great deal of money, and she’s having a huge, expensive wedding. That’s fine. The problem is that the dresses she selected for her bridesmaids START at $7,000. That’s right—$7,000 is the price of the cheapest of her choices, and that does NOT include alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair, make up, etc. The dress that she favors comes in at $15,000 before alterations.

She did not give us any kind of warning that the dresses she is considering are so expensive. I’m working, but spending $7,000 plus on a dress that I will wear for less than one day (not even) and then never wear it again (it is beautiful, but it is bridal) is an expense I cannot justify. And if she opts for her favorite, at $15,000 before alterations…

I know that being a member of the wedding party is expensive. When she announced her engagement and when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I immediately started trying to save, but I didn’t think that being part of her wedding would be this expensive. I am also hurt that she didn’t give me a heads-up but waited until we were at the salon and looking at her choices. I pulled her aside and told her that I would have to back out of being a bridesmaid, and I told her WHY (that I cannot afford the dress she chose, nor the shoes, the accessories, alterations, and more). I told her that I would be happy to participate in another way (perhaps do a reading), and if that wasn’t possible, then I would be content to be a guest. She was very, very upset with me, told me that I couldn’t back out, etc. The wedding is still a year from now so I would think there is time for her to ask someone else to be a bridesmaid.

Since then, I’ve called her and emailed her and she hasn’t responded. I finally wrote her a long letter, explaining that I valued her as a person and our friendship, and that I very much wanted to be a part of her wedding, but that unfortunately a $15,000 dress and even a $7,000 dress is completely out of my budget. I have a job but after rent, insurance, loans, and other expenses, I sometimes have to skip meals in order to save even a little for emergencies.

The thing is, she grew up like me—working class poor and didn’t have much. Her fiancé is a great guy and I’m truly happy for her, but I’m hurt that she did not ask me what I could afford to spend on a bridesmaid dress, shoes, and accessories. I have enough debt as it is, and I can’t and won’t spend $20,000 just on the bridesmaid accoutrements. I’d have to borrow to do it.

But now she’s mad at me and sent me a letter in return telling me how hurt she was that I backed out, that obviously I don’t value her or our long friendship because if I did, I would be there for her wedding. She said that none of the other bridesmaids nor the maid of honor backed out (maid of honor is her sister; other bridesmaids are her fiancé’s sisters, and her fiancé’s family is paying for their dresses, etc.) so that tells her that I don’t care about her. She said that I don’t deserve her and she is never talking to me again.

Have you ever heard of anything like this? Are brides now so unreasonable that they don’t take their bridesmaid’s budgets into account when selecting dresses? Should I have told her my limits re: the cost of the dress? She also told me that I was not welcome at her wedding. I am mourning the end of a fifteen-plus-year friendship, and am hurt and bewildered.

—Unhappy ex-bridesmaid and blacklisted ex-friend

A: Dear UEABE,

Most couples honestly don’t ask their bridal party about their budget before picking out dresses or tuxes or whatever else. But most couples don’t pick a $15,000 dress, holy crap.

It’d be awfully nice for her to consider her bridal party’s financial situation (I imagine most of the readers here tried to), but at the end of the day, your budget is your own personal responsibility, not hers. It’s your obligation to keep your finances in check and be vocal if some obligation is stretching you too thin. Which is exactly what you did! You were right, is what I’m saying here. Telling her you couldn’t afford it and stepping down were the entirely right decisions.

Everyone is in a different financial situation. But fifteen grand is… a lot. Even considering the fact that we’re not all coming from the same place financially, that’s a lot of money.

It was your choice to spend that lump of cash or opt out, and it was her choice how to respond to the news. She decided to take it personally, and frankly, I don’t know what you could’ve done to avoid that. It sucks. It’s just not your fault. You couldn’t have foreseen a $15,000 dress, and you couldn’t just dig in the couch to find that money once it was proposed. Her hurt feelings suck, but they’re unfounded and not your responsibility.

You say your friend had the same financial background as you before meeting this guy, but I’m wondering if she just cannot relate to “not being able to afford it.” Even folks who consider themselves on the same financial page are usually in very different places. In trying very hard (so very hard) to give the benefit of the doubt here, I’m thinking maybe she just cannot fathom how you can’t afford this dress, and assumes that means you’re prioritizing other things above her wedding (which you are—rent and food and electricity). But on the other, wide-eyed judgey hand—this girl has lost her mind. Fifteen thousand dollars for a dress? That’s crazy talk, and her accusatory response was out of line. Maybe after the wedding is over, she’ll find her common sense again. But till then, you’ve done what you can, and I would try not to give it another blessed thought.

P.S. We know, we thought we were being trolled too… but we did some digging, and all we can say, is we give this AAPW a very high chance of being 100% real.

https://apracticalwedding.com/expensive-bridesmaid-dress/

 

tictactoepony: (wool)
[personal profile] tictactoepony posting in [community profile] knitting
The purple pair were just finished - I kept getting distracted by other projects, but finally got there in the end :)

here be socks )

(no subject)

Oct. 14th, 2017 09:05 am
turps: (unicorn)
[personal profile] turps
I did get a dress, and we picked up James' tux the other day, so we're pretty much set now. If you're interested, I posted the dress on insta here. Not the best of photos, and I need to decide what to do in terms of hair styles, but you get the idea.

Kayleigh had a lovely birthday, but when she got there the staff told her the room was haunted, so her and her gf spent the night expecting to see ghosts and saying they were going to sleep in the car. Apparently the room we'd chosen for them has been featured on Most Haunted, and the hotel itself left an A4 sheet of paper talking about the supposed hauntings. But they did stay -- and slept in the bed -- so all was well.

We went to see The Snowman yesterday, and like many films lately, I enjoyed it much more than I expected.
lilysea: Serious (Default)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with a woman for the last 30 years. Our children are the same age. My daughter, who is in her late 20s, has a number of tattoos on her arm that she can cover with clothing if she chooses. However, she doesn't cover them often because she likes them and they mean something to her.

Recently, I showed my friend a picture of my daughter that showed one of the tattoos on her upper arm. My friend said, "Oh, I am so sorry about the tattoo," and proceeded to cover the tattoo with her hand, implying that my daughter would be attractive if it weren't for the body art. I was shocked.

I have always been supportive of my friend's children and have never criticized any of them, even though I haven't agreed with everything they have done. I was so hurt by her comment that I was speechless. I'm not sure I can continue the relationship feeling this way. But I'm hesitant to lose a 30-year friendship over something I might be overblowing. Am I being too sensitive? How do I resolve this? -- COMPLETELY THROWN BY THIS

DEAR THROWN:
For a friendship of 30 years to end over one thoughtless comment would be sad for both of you. Sometimes people say things without thinking, and this is an example. Resolve your feelings by talking to her in person and telling her how deeply hurt you were by what she said. It will give her the chance to apologize and make amends.
lilysea: Oracle 3 (Oracle: thoughful)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday I was in a retail store with my service dog. The clerk asked me what kind of service dog she was and I replied, "She's my service dog." She kept pressing me as to exactly why I have one, so I asked her if she was inquiring about my disability. When she said, "Yes," I politely informed her that federal HIPAA laws protect my right to privacy. She then said -- loud enough for everyone in the store to hear -- "I don't know what the big deal is. I just want to know what the dog does for you."

Please let your readers know how to be around a person and their service animal:

1. You do not have the right to ask about the person's disability. To do so is rude. Most people prefer strangers not know their medical condition. The dog may be for PTSD, a hearing or seeing dog, or to alert the person to a medical emergency.

2. Children (and adults) need to understand that when service animals' jackets go on, the dogs know it's time to go to "work," and they take their job seriously. At that point, they are not pets and should not be treated as such. If a child rushes a service dog, the animal may react badly because it is there to protect its person.

3. You may ask to pet the dog, but don't assume it will be allowed. If given permission, the dog should be scratched under the chin only.

Service animals know their place. It's a shame that most people are not as polite. -- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

DEAR N.O.Y.B.: Thank you for sharing this information. According to the Americans With Disabilities Act website (ada.gov): "Businesses may ask if an animal is a service animal or ask what tasks the animal has been trained to perform, but cannot require special ID cards for the animal or ask about the person's disability."

Marcus Wicker, Silencer, 2017

Oct. 12th, 2017 09:38 am
yatima: (Default)
[personal profile] yatima posting in [community profile] 50books_poc
I read this on the recommendation of the great Roxane Gay. Like everything she recommends, it's excellent.

grant me a few free hours each day. Grant me a Moleskine pad & a ballpoint pen with some mass. Grant me your gift of this voice. Pages & pages of this voice, in a good book from a loving press. & grant me a great love, too. Grant a way to provide for my love. Like, a tenure-track job at a small college in the Midwest.

Wicker draws the reader in with this likable, conversational-confessional frankness. His project isn't to emphasize our shared experience, though. It's to draw attention to the cracks.

The danger in consuming the Grey Poupon is believing that you, too, can be a first-generation member of the elite, turning your nose up at soul music, simple joy, fried foods, casual Fridays—essentially everything I’m made of.

Under late capitalism, we are all subject to precarity, but no one more so than a black man in a police state. Wicker challenges us not to look away.

What’s the use in playing it like everything’s going to be OK for me in the event of mortal catastrophe

Grant this guy tenure, and bulletproof skin.

The Water Dragon's Bride, Vol. 3

Oct. 12th, 2017 12:12 am
marycatelli: (Golden Hair)
[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] books
The Water Dragon's Bride, Vol. 3 by Rei Tōma

Spoilers ahead for the earlier ones. . . .

Read more... )
lilysea: Arsehole (Arsehole)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Prudence,
I am an older, sexually conservative woman who got herpes from a man I was dating. He’s a pillar of the community and did not tell me he had herpes. I had a long dry spell before we started dating. My issue is that I have an unlabeled bottle of herpes medication in my desk drawer at work. My administrative assistant asked for some pain relievers, and I opened my desk drawer and shared from a labeled, over-the-counter bottle of acetaminophen. I saw her staring at the unlabeled bottle in the drawer. Later that day I went back to my office, and she and another person had actually opened the unlabeled bottle and were looking at the medicine! I was too stunned to say anything, and they left. I guess they looked at the color and numbers on the pills and looked up the medication. In the few months after that —I kid you not—several people at the office have “casually” mentioned herpes and how disgusting it is. At the company potluck, no one touched my dish. One co-worker asked about a red spot on my hand and said loudly, “Yuck, it looks like herpes!”

One odd thing about this is that I have been extraordinarily financially generous to the admin who peeked and told. I don’t understand why this is happening. I used to like my job, and I make a very high salary. If I leave the company, I fear this issue will follow me. I was not in the least bit promiscuous in my life (truly). I feel so ashamed, though.
—Pariah

Answer:
That is absolutely horrifying—both that your administrative assistant would paw through your unlabeled medication and that your co-workers are now mocking you for a confidential medical condition (one that, by the way, is both extremely common and easily managed with medication, and not something you should feel ashamed about or isolated by). What they’re doing, in addition to being cruel and unprofessional, is also a violation of the Family and Medical Leave Act, which prohibits the disclosure of private medical information in the workplace. It’s unbelievably childish to treat a dish you prepared as somehow “contaminated,” doubly so when it’s common knowledge that herpes cannot be transmitted via potluck. The fact that this is your subordinate makes the issue additionally uncomfortable, but you do at least have the authority to correct her. It’s understandable that you felt too flustered and embarrassed to address the issue in the moment, but you should absolutely set up a meeting with her and make it clear that it’s wildly inappropriate for her to go through anyone else’s medication at work—labeled or otherwise—and that it is a potentially fireable offense. If your office has an HR department, you should bring them into the conversation, because (once again!) it’s not appropriate for employees to mock their colleagues for their perceived or actual medical conditions.

OTW: A Decade of Serving Fans

Oct. 11th, 2017 05:31 pm
otw_staff: 'Comms' and 'Janita' written beneath the OTW logo (Janita)
[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
Organization for Transformative Works Membership Drive, October 12-18, 2017




The history of the OTW spans a full decade. To keep our work going, we need your support. Learn more and donate today: https://goo.gl/sGQA77

Wednesday Reading!

Oct. 11th, 2017 12:23 pm
gorgeousnerd: #GN written in the red font from my layout on a black background. (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousnerd
Me before my vacation: I'll have so much time in the car to read! I'm so excited. Even if I don't read, I can watch a lot of TV. And even if nothing happens on the road, I can do some reading in line for rides.

Me on the road: [sleeps a lot because of medication, has to deal with screaming kids when awake]

Me at the park: [almost never alone, absolutely exhausted when I am]

Me after vacation: ...oh well.

I did still make some progress on books in the last couple weeks, though.

Books. Talk of fat shaming, rape. )

In other news, I'm going to try to put up a Pokemon Go post in the next couple days. I did a lot of playing on the trip, and it was a delight!

Savage Love

Oct. 11th, 2017 04:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Poly third is feeling too low in the relationship hierarchy. by Dan Savage

I'm a 25-year-old woman currently in a poly relationship with a married man roughly 20 years my senior. This has by far been the best relationship I've ever had. However, something has me a bit on edge. We went on a trip with friends to a brewery with a great restaurant. It was an amazing place, and I'm sure his wife would enjoy it. He mentioned the place to her, and her response was NO, she didn't want to go there because she didn't want to have "sloppy seconds." It made me feel dirty. Additionally, the way he brushed this off means this isn't the first time. I go out of my way to show him places I think they would like to go together. I don't know if my feelings are just hurt—if it's as childish as I think it is—or if it's a reminder of my very low place in their hierarchy. I hesitate to bring this up, because when I have needs or concerns, they label me as difficult or needy. Is this part of a bigger trend I'm missing? Should I do anything to address this or just continue to stay out of their business and go where I wish with my partner?

Treated With Outrage

I'm having a hard time reconciling these two statements, TWO: "This has by far been the best relationship I've ever had" and "when I have needs or concerns, they label me as difficult or needy." I suppose it's possible all your past relationships have been so bad that your best-relationship-ever bar is set tragically low. But taking a partner's needs and concerns seriously is one of the hallmarks of a good relationship, to say nothing of a "best relationship ever."

That said... I don't know you or how you are. It's entirely possible that you share your needs and concerns in a way that comes across as—or actually is—needy and difficult. Our experience of interpersonal relationships, like our experience of anything and everything else, is subjective. One person's reasonable expression of needs/concerns is another person's emotionally manipulative drama. I would need to depose your boyfriend and his wife, TWO, to make a determination and issue a ruling.

That said... It's a really bad sign that your boyfriend's wife compared eating in a restaurant you visited with him to fucking a hole that someone else just fucked, i.e., "sloppy seconds." It has me wondering whether your boyfriend's wife is really into the poly thing. Some people are poly under duress (PUD), i.e., they agreed to open up a marriage or relationship not because it's what they want, but because they were given an ultimatum: We're open/poly or we're over. In a PUD best-case scenario, the PUD partner sees that their fears were overblown, discovers that poly/open works for them, embraces openness/polyamory, and is no longer a PUD. But PUDs who don't come around (or haven't come around yet) will engage in small acts of sabotage to signal their unhappiness—their perfectly understandable unhappiness. They didn't want to be open/poly in the first place and are determined to prove that open/poly was a mistake and/or punish their ultimatum-issuing partner. The most common form of PUD sabotage? Making their primary partner's secondary partner(s) feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.

That said... As you (probably) know (but if you don't, you're about to find out), poly relationships have all kinds of (sometimes incredibly arbitrary but also incredibly important) rules. If one of their rules is "My wife doesn't want to hear from or about my girlfriend," TWO, then your restaurant recommendations are going to fall flat. Being poly means navigating rules (and sometimes asking to renegotiate those rules) and juggling multiple people's feelings, needs, and concerns. You have to show respect for their rules, TWO, as they are each other's primary partners. But your boyfriend and his wife have to show respect for you, too. Secondary though you may be, your needs, concerns, feelings, etc., have to be taken into consideration. And if their rules make you feel disrespected, unvalued, or too low on the hierarchical poly totem pole, you should dump them.


My wife said she didn't care who I slept with soon after we met. At the time, I didn't want to sleep with anyone else. But we eventually became monogamish—it started as me texting her a fantasy while I was at work, and that fantasy was waiting for me when I got home—it was fun, but it wasn't something I needed. After a couple years of playing together with others in private and in clubs, she said she wanted to open our relationship. I got a girlfriend, had fun until the new relationship energy (NRE) wore off, and ended things. Then my wife got a great job on the other side of the state and I stayed behind to get our house into a sellable condition. Right now, we see each other only on weekends. I also got a new girlfriend. The NRE wore off, but we still really like each other, and we've discussed being long-distance secondaries once the move is complete. Here's the problem: Last night, my wife confessed to me that being in an open relationship was making her miserable. Not just my current girlfriend, whose monopoly over my time during the week could be a legitimate cause for concern, but going back to the previous girlfriend I saw only one night a week. I told my wife that I would break up with my girlfriend immediately. My wife is the most important person in my life, and I don't want to do anything to hurt her. But my wife told me not to break up with my girlfriend. I don't want to string my girlfriend along and tell her everything is fine—but my wife, who doesn't want to be poly anymore, is telling me not to break up with my girlfriend. What do I do?

Dude Isn't Content Knowing Priority Is Crushingly Sad

Your wife may want you to dump your girlfriend without having to feel responsible for your girlfriend's broken heart, DICKPICS, so she tells you she's miserable and doesn't want to be poly anymore, and then tells you not to end things. Or maybe this is a test: Dumping a girlfriend you didn't have to dump would signal to your wife that she is, indeed, the most important person in your life and that you will prioritize her happiness even when she won't. Or maybe she's watched you acquire two girlfriends without landing a boyfriend of her own.

But there's a middle ground between dumped and not dumped, DICKPICS: Tell your girlfriend what's going on—she has a right to know—and put the relationship on hold. Get the house sold, get your ass to your wife, and keep talking until you figure out what is going to work for your wife going forward: completely closed, open but only to sexual adventures you two go on together, i.e., "playing together with others in private and in clubs," or open with GFs (and BFs) allowed. Good luck.


I don't know if I'm poly or not. I mean, Jesus H. Christ, this has been so difficult. How do I know when to go back to monogamy?

Pretty Over Lusty Yearnings

I don't think you're poly, POLY, because I don't think anyone is poly. I also don't think anyone is monogamous. Polyamory and monogamy aren't sexual orientations, IMO, they're relationship models. And if the polyamorous model is making you miserable, POLY, it might not be right for you. But you should ask yourself whether polyamory is making you miserable or if the people you are doing polyamory with are making you miserable. People in awful monogamous relationships rarely blame monogamy for their woes—even when monogamy is a factor—but the stigma against nontraditional relationship models, to say nothing of sex-negativity, often lead people to blame polyamory for their misery when the actual cause isn't the model, POLY, it's the people.


On the Lovecast,Polyamory, Dom/sub relationships, and Wonder Woman: savagelovecast.com

mail@savagelove.net

@fakedansavage

ITMFA.org

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lilysea: Serious (Default)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Q. Pets are not family, are they?: My childless sister “Sally” and I are close but are having a disagreement. Sally lives several hours away, and my 8-year-old daughter and I try to visit for the weekend about once per month. The problem is that my daughter has severe pet allergies, and Sally has two cats and a small terrier.

Though she keeps her house as clean as possible, the very presence of these pets causes my daughter to sneeze, congest, and sometimes break out in hives. I’ve repeatedly asked Sally to either get rid of them or keep them outside during our visits, but Sally claims that though she loves her niece, she can’t keep her pets outside all weekend because the cats are “indoor only,” the dog is too little to stay outside, and coyotes are a danger. She also told me that I was out of line to ask. Was I? They’re only animals, after all, and her niece is family. When she visits us she boards them or gets a sitter, so I don’t see why she can’t do the same when we visit. She’s also suggested that my daughter take allergy medication, but I find that out of line. Is it? How can we resolve this?

A: The most important thing to do here, I think, is to make sure you don’t let a conversation about reasonable accommodation turn into one about whether your sister’s pets “really count” as family. (I’m on your side in the sense that I think a human child’s health is paramount here, but I just don’t think it will be useful to turn this into a litigation on your respective reproductive choices.)

It’s absolutely fair of you to say that the present situation is dangerous to your daughter’s health. It’s also fair that your sister is anxious about leaving her dog outside for an entire weekend, especially if she lives in a coyote-heavy area. If she were willing and able to hire a pet sitter during your visits, that would be an ideal solution, but since she isn’t, you should advocate for your daughter’s health and stay in a nearby hotel so that she can get a full night’s sleep without having difficulty breathing.

Incidentally, unless your daughter has an issue with allergy medication, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have some at the ready with you, given that she might have a reaction to someone else’s pet at any time. That doesn’t mean she’ll be suddenly able to sleep comfortably in a house with three small furry animals, but there’s nothing wrong with giving someone allergy medicine for an allergy attack.

OTW Finance: 2017 Budget Update

Oct. 10th, 2017 09:13 pm
otw_staff: 'Comms' and 'Janita' written beneath the OTW logo (Janita)
[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
OTW Budget Banner




We've updated our budget for the rest of the year, and we're making plans for the future, too! Learn more here: https://goo.gl/tKRHEA

Celebrate Ada Lovelace Day 2017

Oct. 10th, 2017 10:05 am
otw_staff: 'Comms' and 'Janita' written beneath the OTW logo (Janita)
[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
OTW Celebrates banner

Happy Ada Lovelace Day from the OTW! Learn more about Ada Lovelace and her contribution to coding here: https://goo.gl/jGtUJw

(no subject)

Oct. 10th, 2017 04:33 pm
turps: (Mikey&Cat)
[personal profile] turps
I'm so glad James finishes his set of days today. Normally the early starts don't bother me, but I've been dragging the last two days. We were even in bed by 9 last night, and I had a good sleep, but still feel like I need more.

Tomorrow is, must buy a dress day, so we're off to Metrocentre first thing. I've tried some on, now it's making a decision and checking out underwear as it's pointless getting the strapless dress if I can't get a bra to go with it. We also need to pick up James' tux. We ended up just buying in the end as hiring would have only been a little cheaper, plus they couldn't adjust the arms. This way he's got a suit tailored to fit him, which will look so much better.

I often dream about Camp Sparkle people, and last nights merits a mention simply because dream!me asked dream!Sperrywink if she'd beta for me. Which isn't unusual, what was though was I'd apparently written something 500k long, and had given her the first half to beta, with the second half being sent the next day. I just wish I knew what fandom/story it was. It could have been a sign for the future!

It's Kayleigh's birthday on Thursday. It was also my nephews on Sunday and my other nephews on Friday -- stupid birthday clusters! Kayleigh loves animals and phoned to ask if on her birthday we could go on a family day out to a safari park where you can feed giraffes. Which would be great, but mam's booked her a surprise stay in Lumley Castle on her birthday. She's gone all out with extras to the room, but put Kayleigh off by saying she didn't want to go on her trip, couldn't sit that long, why would she want to feed a giraffe etc, which of course made Kayleigh angry as she thought mam was doing her usual thing of spoiling occasions. In the end mam had to tell her she'd arranged something, but not what. Surprises, they really have the potential to blow up in your face.

I need go start something for tea now, but tonight is about relaxing, a long bath while reading Musketeer fic, a face mask, hair washed and conditioned, and then Bake Off. I've also got my eye on the BBB posted stories but I suspect they'll be left for a bit later.
cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
[personal profile] cereta posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My roommates think it is OK to eat asparagus with their hands. However, I believe this looks childish and that asparagus should be eaten with a knife and fork. Is it really a finger food?

GENTLE READER: Yes, it really is. Every once in a while, etiquette likes to shock people, and this will do it.

However, as it offends you, you can invest in asparagus tongs. Miss Manners assures you that seeing what look like small silver forceps on the dinner table will produce an equal amount of shock.

Seeds of Blood

Oct. 10th, 2017 07:53 am
marycatelli: (Golden Hair)
[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] books
Seeds of Blood by C. Chancy

Sequel to A Net of Dawn and Bones. Spoilers ahead for that.
Read more... )

Burn it down.

Oct. 9th, 2017 11:04 pm
gorgeousnerd: #GN written in the red font from my layout on a black background. (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousnerd
1. Oof, I've felt terrible all day. I think most of it is because of choices I made that could have been less painful, and I got a couple things done anyway, but my sleep has been weird lately and I'm feeling it. I keep waking up for various reasons before I've gotten enough sleep - today was sinus pressure, joy of joys - and then I'm too tired to do much but too awake to go back to sleep until like noon, and then I go back to sleep for a couple hours, but it's not the same as getting a full night's sleep at once AND I feel frustrated that I don't feel up to doing much of anything.

Anyway, fingers crossed I actually sleep tonight and that I feel less frustrated tomorrow. If I don't, resting is a big priority.

2. I've only watched the first episode of Star Trek: Discovery because I'm busy and access to the episodes is hard. (THANKS FOR NOTHING CBS. Would it have been so hard to make the episodes to buy on Amazon, at least? Also looking at you, American Gods, although it looks like they have them now.) I'm very sad that there's new Star Trek people are watching and talking about and I'm already so behind! I'm going to try to catch up this week.

3. Because I contain multitudes and can have both Star Trek and Star Wars be big fandom pillars in my life, Last Jedi trailer is a thing!!! Wow. Have more thoughts than anyone needs as I rewatch the trailer.

Star Wars trailer spoilers/speculation. Also original trilogy spoilers. )

Stolen Magic

Oct. 9th, 2017 11:39 pm
marycatelli: (Golden Hair)
[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] books
Stolen Magic by Marina Finlayson

An alternate world urban fantasy.

Read more... )
turlough: Gerard Way facepalming, Life on the Murder Scene, 2005 ((mcr) oh shit!)
[personal profile] turlough
"Mikey?" Gerard asks, and when he pries open his eyes all he sees are two tiny hands clutched over the side of the bunk. "The fuck?"

"I'm a kid," Mikey says, the hands disappearing from view. "A fucking kid."

"Language." It's an automatic response and Gerard's horrified at himself as he rolls over in his bunk, peering over the side at Mikey. Because, seriously, he's channelling their mom.

Except, this Mikey is tiny. His hair ruffled up in unruly spikes, and his feet bare, a ragged robot band-aid wrapped around one of his toes. Mikey's also staring at Gerard, and the soft roundness of his face does little to disguise his unimpressed look.


- [archiveofourown.org profile] turps' Four

December 2015

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