Daily Happiness

Aug. 21st, 2017 01:17 am
torachan: close-up of a sleepy kitten face (sleepy molly)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I already finished most of that paid translation job, so I don't have to worry about spending a lot of my day off on it.

2. Tonight's Rick and Morty was pretty good. I liked the Rick and Jerry plotline a lot. (I love Jerry, so I'm glad that him and Beth being separated hasn't meant he's totally out of the picture.)

3. This Molly!

Notes on The Defenders

Aug. 21st, 2017 10:35 am
roga: coffee mug with chocolate cubes (coffee chocolate)
[personal profile] roga
Which I come at from the point of view of someone who has only seen Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, and the first episodes of Daredevil (which I might one day catch up on) and Iron Fist (which I definitely will not).

So:

Spoilers for all episodes of The Defenders )

(no subject)

Aug. 20th, 2017 05:21 pm
turps: (unicorn)
[personal profile] turps
I've had mail from [personal profile] dine and [personal profile] sperrywink lately. Thank you both so very much!

We had plans last Monday. For the first time in a while we had nearly a full day to ourselves, the only thing planned was a meet up with Corey, have dinner and then go pay the bond for his new place. Then James got sick. He's got a chest infection, so the bond got paid over the phone and he's pretty much slept since then. He's on antibiotics and an inhaler, so hopefully will start feeling better soon.

Then mam also got a chest infection, but of course with her it was much more serious and she barely escaped being sent to hospital again.

The gym is still going well. The attendant told me last week weekend afternoons tended to be really quiet, and she was right as last Sunday I pretty much had the place to myself. Which meant I got to try out new machines that I wasn't confident about. The rowers were hard, though I think my technique could have been at fault there. I'm very dubious about the cross trainer as it felt like I was going to be thrown off, and the stair climber kills me! But I've used the later two a few more times since then, though I haven't tried the rower again.

James has been nominated for an award at work, so we have invites to a glitzy do at the end of October. Which is great, but we both need evening dress. I don't have evening dress. Sigh.

Game of Thrones is making me happy this season. Also concerned as I get the horrible feeling bad things are going to happen -- because it's Game of Thrones and bad things always happen. cut for spoilers )

I'm also continuing to love Killjoys and last week Masterchef Australia started, episode 1 of no doubt 7076720 and the start of the slow slide into autumn and winter, when the winner will finally be revealed. What with that, the Strictly celebs being announced and Bake Off being advertised it really does feel like the media autumn is within touching distance. I still don't like Bake Off in on C4, though. That is so wrong.

I've been to see Everything, Everything and The Dark Tower recently. The first was okay, the second. Well, that's a few hours of my life I'll never get back.

I'm off to a party tonight, but hopefully will catch up on reading/comments tomorrow.

Daily Happiness

Aug. 20th, 2017 01:31 am
torachan: ewan mcgregor pulling his glasses down to look over the top (ewan glasses)
[personal profile] torachan
1. Had some leftover curry tonight for dinner and it was so good and I'm sad there's only a little bit left, so I think I'm going to have to make that again this coming week. (I'm glad the weather's cool enough that I feel like cooking again.)

2. Over the past couple days two slacker employees turned in their two weeks notice, which saved me the trouble of having to fire them.

3. Speaking of cooler weather, Chloe's been cuddling up in the bed again now that it's not so hot.

cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
[personal profile] cereta posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Amy: My daughter and son-in-law are expecting their first child. My husband has a granddaughter, but this will be MY first grandchild. My husband and I have been together for more than 16 years and have helped raise each other’s children.

I love his granddaughter and I don’t want her feelings to be hurt by announcing on social media that I am expecting my first grandchild. She is 8 years old and knows that I am her father’s stepmother, but I still don’t want to hurt her. Whenever she comes over, my husband and I both spoil her (like grandparents should), but she has always favored her “Papa.”

The problem for me is that I am much younger than my husband, and I didn’t want my social media friends to think that I was old enough to have an 8-year-old grandchild.

How can I say that I am expecting my first grandchild without making her feel like she doesn’t count?

— Grandma to Be

Dear Grandma: I appreciate your sensitivity about this situation, but I have news for you — you are already a “Grandma.” You have been one for the past eight years, and for you to try to find a way to deny this now that you are about to have a “real” grandchild in your life is all about your own vanity.

Your young granddaughter wouldn’t be the only person surprised (and possibly hurt) by the revelation that she isn’t your grandchild. Her parents, especially the parent you “helped to raise,” would likely be quite wounded.

I could also venture a guess that the reason your granddaughter has always favored her “Papa” is because you are signaling to her in a variety of ways that she is a placeholder for the real grandchild who will someday come along and claim your heart.

I became a grandmother quite young — at least it seemed so at the time, because I wasn’t prepared for this life stage. But family comes to you in different ways and at different times, whether or not you’re ready (or “old enough”) for it.

And so now the thing to do is to take to social media to announce your joy at the birth of your second grandchild.
torachan: (koi-iji)
[personal profile] torachan


Title: Koi-iji: Love Glutton
Original Title: こいいじ (Koiiji)
Author: Shimura Takako
Publisher: Kiss
Genre: Josei
Status in Japan: 6 volumes, ongoing
Scanlator: Megchan's Scanlations feat. Migeru
Scanlation Status: Ongoing
More Info: Baka Updates

Summary: 31-year-old Mame has been in love with her childhood friend Souta ever since she can remember. Despite multiple rejections, her love has stayed constant. It's become a habit more than anything, but is it one she'll ever be able to break and get on with her life?

Chapter Summary: Mame and Souta go on a date.



Chapter 20: P.S. I Love You

And since that brings us to the end of volume 4, here's a full volume download for those who want it.

Daily Happiness

Aug. 19th, 2017 12:43 am
torachan: maru the cat sitting in a bucket (maru)
[personal profile] torachan
1. Yesterday we noticed the cats have fleas, so I went to the pet store first thing this morning and got some flea treatment and we've already seen a few dead fleas, so hopefully that will take care of things.

2. It is really chilly tonight!

3. I've got manga ready to post tomorrow (had meant to do it tonight, but too tired).

4. Look at this Jasper! So grown up looking!

yatima: (Default)
[personal profile] yatima posting in [community profile] 50books_poc
If I'm honest with you, I'm probably much too close to this book to have a fair opinion of it. On the other hand, it's a gorgeous, loving, clear-eyed and critical portrait of the world in which I live. In a week that felt hopeless, this book gave me a beautiful and hopeful place to be, and I adored it without reservation.
Powell’s Books beckoned to us in red, black, and white, like a flag for a new America. One that’s educated, homegrown, and all about sustaining local book culture.

Libraries are where nerds like me go to refuel. They are safe-havens where the polluted noise of the outside world, with all the bullies and bro-dudes and anti-feminist rhetoric, is shut out. Libraries have zero tolerance for bullshit. Their walls protect us and keep us safe from all the bastards that have never read a book for fun.

Juliet is a fat 19yo Puerto Rican lesbian writer from the Bronx, spending her summer in Portland, Oregon, interning with Harlowe Brisbane, the white feminist author of Raging Flower: Empowering your Pussy by Empowering your Mind. Shenanigans ensue, and they are gloriously, heartbreakingly real: a science fiction writing workshop honoring Octavia Butler; a reading at Powell's that goes horribly wrong; a queer POC party in Miami.

Rivera is brilliant on the rollercoaster that is growing up one or more kinds of "other" and trying to be true to your authentic self before you have quite figured out what that is.
You are your own person, Juliet. If it’s a phase, so what? If it’s your whole life, who cares? You’re destined to evolve and understand yourself in ways you never imagined before.

She is also extremely acute on the specific failures of white feminism. At a moment in history when our alliances may or may not save the world, it's on white women to understand how our thoughtlessness can inflict deep injuries on our best allies. And it's on white women to stop that shit.

This is a first novel and unpolished, but it's a huge shiny diamond full of light and color and my favorite thing I've read in the challenge so far.

Daily Happiness

Aug. 18th, 2017 01:41 am
torachan: onoda sakamichi from yowamushi pedal with a huge smile (onoda smile)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I got a small paid translation job tonight. Due Tuesday morning Japan time, which means Monday evening for me, so that gives me plenty of time. A lot of times when these guys ask me it's super last minute and the time zones make it impossible, so I'm always happy when it's one I can take.

2. I made chocolate chip cookies. Haven't done any baking in ages since it's been such warm weather, but it really hasn't been bad the last week or so and it really didn't heat up the house too much to make these.

3. I finished another book today, which puts me at fifty books so far for the year. I can't believe it! My goal was originally twenty! It's at sixty now, but I think I'm going to have to end up upping it again at this rate.

4. Molly was sleeping with her paw over her face, and when I went to take her picture, she moved her head but still kept her paw in the same place, which was super cute.

Weekly Reading

Aug. 17th, 2017 10:32 pm
torachan: (Default)
[personal profile] torachan
What are you currently reading?
I read about a chapter more on Attack of the Theater People, but that's it. I think I've only managed to read before bed one time this last week, and every other night I stayed up too late and went straight to sleep. (Even the nights I went to bed early I was too tired to read.)

What did you recently finish reading?
I finally finished The History of Forgetting. This book was kind of a mish-mash of the history of LA, LA in fiction, and some actual fiction about LA. The latter is the weakest part of the book and I think dropping it would have made it a better book overall. A random sixty-page novella dropped in the middle of a work of non-fiction could possibly be made to work, but it didn't here, at least not for me.

I did like the parts that were actual history of LA and a look at how LA has been portrayed in books and movies over the years. This was published about twenty years ago and a lot has changed downtown since then, and I'd be interested to see the author's thoughts on those changes. It looks like an updated version of the book was released about ten years ago, but even that was before the real downtown revival.

What do you think you'll read next?
Well, I have three books marked "currently reading" on Goodreads that I haven't actually started on, so hopefully one or more of those! People in Trouble by Sarah Schulman is what I just added to GR tonight as my current physical book. I read several books by her a few years ago and really liked them, but for some reason never read the last two I had bought at that time, and when looking for a new book to read tonight after finishing A History of Forgetting, I spotted them and decided to go with that. I've also still got Hollow City, though since I'm also reading Attack of the Theater People, idk if I will actually make any progress on this until I finish that, since I don't like switching between ebooks. Then finally I've got The Big Picture: Murals of Los Angeles, which I found in a pile of books on the curb the other day while out on our evening walk.

2 links 17 August 2017

Aug. 17th, 2017 11:15 pm
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
[personal profile] sasha_feather posting in [community profile] access_fandom
Eric Deggans on NPR (All Things Considered):

Netflix, ABC Portrayals Of Autism Still Fall Short, Critics Say

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/08/11/542668400/netflix-abc-portrayals-of-autism-still-fall-short-critics-say

You can read or listen to this piece, which is about "The Good Doctor" and "Atypical".

(no subject)

Aug. 18th, 2017 01:44 am
roga: coffee mug with chocolate cubes (Default)
[personal profile] roga
I've been back from North America for a week that's been chock full of events, which is partly why I'd set my return date for August - a bachelorette party and birthdays and goodbye parties and my dad's 60th bday (which, thank you for all of you who helped me either record messages or cajole strangers across the US and Canada to record birthday messages for him!).

And I am posting to mark for posterity and with great happiness that tomorrow evening my cousin is getting married, and it's a combination of strange and exciting and emotional. This is my cousin from my mom's side of the family, which is the side we grew up close with, in neighboring towns. My cousins from my dad's side are all older than me and have been married for a while now, and my sisters and I have always had a more distant relationship to them due to age differences and geography. (This is the part where you guys are allowed to laugh, since the ones who live farthest away are still less than a two-hour drive away from my hometown; just over an hour with the new roads, really. But my mom's side live ten minutes away! So. An hour drive is far okay everyone [here] knows this.)

Anyway - O, the bride, is a few years younger than me, the fifth youngest of us six cousins, and the first on this side to get married, which means my 86-year-old grandmother gets to be in at least one of her grandchildren's weddings, which just by default makes me happy, that she'll get to experience that. I don't think she's ever put pressure on any of us to get married - certainly not on me, and I'm the oldest - but I'm really glad she'll get to have that experience anyway.

Weirdly, I guess I'm kind of used to the fact that my cousin's not a baby anymore - I guess at some point you just get used to all these milestones in people's lives happening. The last time I mentioned her was in this post from almost ten years ago where I was clearly shocked she was, like, almost a grown up or something, but it has since sunk in.

It's going to be a Friday night wedding, which already tells you it's not very religious here (and not, technically, legally binding; they'll fly to Cyprus to get married over the weekend for the legal part), and it's going to be at a music club and involve some kind of concert. Which means two concerts for me this weekend, since sisters and I are also taking my dad to Regina Spektor for his birthday, a day later.

And that, I believe, will cap my August of, uh, Things Happening.

MEANWHILE, I've been spending the past few weeks on and off (mostly on) listening to The West Wing Weekly podcast and I am 1) in love with it, 2) specifically in love with Hrishi Hirway's voice and entire being, and 3) highly recommend any West Wing fans (and esp if you were in the fandom) to listen because it will give you feelings, man. Starting at the beginning is pretty great, but you can also listen to episode 1.6 (Mr Willis of Ohio) for Josh/Donna feels, episode 1.10 (In Excelsis Deo) for Richard Schiff crying feels, and episode 2.22 part II (Two Cathedrals) for a little bit of Sorkin talking about the Passover Sports Night episode which I know is of interest to some of you :-) Anyway, it is a lovely podcast with great banter and both love and criticism of the show and I just want Hrishi to narrate my entire life basically.

Also I filled some prompts yesterday for a meme! It was basically 'send me a ship and a line and I'll write the next five' meme, but more importantly it was the first writing prompts I've actually filled since, I want to say, 2015 or something, so yay for that. Writing something at least! Fills are here (MCU, DCU, GK). Now if only I could translate that to actual decently sized fic hmmmmmmmmm.
yatima: (Default)
[personal profile] yatima posting in [community profile] 50books_poc
Ian McEwan's acclaimed novels On Chesil Beach and Saturday both take place over the course of a single day, in an improbably lily-white version of England. Race-bending this formula is the fundamentally good idea beneath Black Bread White Beer. When we meet Amal and his white wife Claud, they have just lost a pregnancy in the first trimester, but they go ahead and visit Claud's parents in East Sussex as planned.

The novel is at its sharpest and funniest when Amal is reporting his Pakistani parents' reactions to his horrible in-laws:
‘What she means is, we wish you all the luck in the world, Amal, but you must watch your back. Her people look like a bunch of backstabbers. Never trust them for an instant.’

There are also some moving passages where Amal imagines what he and Claud would be like as parents:
Theirs would not be paraded about like Sussex show ponies. There were plenty of cool, funky children they could take as their template.

or what their lives would be like child-free:
They could buy a holiday home abroad. Two. One on each hemisphere if that is what would make her happy. He racks his mind to think of the childless couples they know – not the kids from the office; guys their age and older – but cannot dredge any up. In their immediate circle, there are no trailblazers, only conformists. No matter. They are taste makers, she and him. They can set the precedent.

As with McEwan, though, I found these characters difficult to warm to. Amal and Claud both struck me as joyless corporate drones, preoccupied with status, their world devoid of beauty and pleasure. A technically adroit book, but not for me.

Aziz Ansari, Modern Romance, 2015

Aug. 17th, 2017 10:01 am
yatima: (Default)
[personal profile] yatima posting in [community profile] 50books_poc
I loved Aziz Ansari in Parks and Recreation and I revere his own series, Master of None. The "Thanksgiving" episode of Master of None is one of the best things I have ever seen on television. So I picked up Modern Romance with some enthusiasm.

In a classic Tom Haverford move, rather than just write the obligatory you-have-succeeded-as-a-comedian-on-TV book (Bossypants, Girl Walks Into a Bar, I'm Just a Person, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Self-Inflicted Wounds, The Bedwetter, Yes Please... yeah, it's a genre), Ansari teamed up with Stanford sociologist Eric Klinenberg to figure out both why technologically-mediated dating is such an unrelieved horror show and, reading between the lines, why Ansari was finding it difficult to meet a nice woman.

The resulting book reminded me a bit of Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything in that it's as curious and interesting as it is funny. Ansari's quizzical sweetness shines especially in his reporting on the specific dating scenes in Buenos Aires, Doha, Paris and Tokyo.
In Japan, posting any pictures of yourself, especially selfie-style photos, comes off as really douchey. Kana, an attractive, single twenty-nine-year-old, remarked: “All the foreign people who use selfies on their profile pic? The Japanese feel like that’s so narcissistic.” In her experience, pictures on dating sites would generally include more than two people. Sometimes the person wouldn’t be in the photo at all. I asked what they would post instead.

“A lot of Japanese use their cats,” she said.

“They’re not in the photo with the cat?” I asked.

“Nope. Just the cat. Or their rice cooker.”

“I once saw a guy posted a funny street sign,” volunteered Rinko, thirty-three. “I felt like I could tell a lot about the guy from looking at it.”

This kind of made sense to me. If you post a photo of something interesting, maybe it gives some sense of your personality? I showed a photo of a bowl of ramen I had taken earlier in the day and asked what she thought of that as a profile picture. She just shook her head. OH, I GUESS I CAN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO THAT STREET SIGN DUDE, HUH?

For me, the most engaging part of the book was seeing insights that later ended up as jokes in Master of None. I endorse and seek to emulate this kind of creative reuse! As for meeting a nice woman, the gossip rags tell me that Ansari was in a relationship with pastrychef Courtney McBloom for a while, but they parted amicably last year. So it goes.

Daily Happiness

Aug. 17th, 2017 12:14 am
torachan: (Default)
[personal profile] torachan
1. Kinda busy day today at work, but not too bad.

2. Day off tomorrow!

3. We had watermelon tonight after dinner and there's some left for tomorrow, too.

4. Playful Chloe. :D

lilysea: Serious (Default)
[personal profile] lilysea posting in [community profile] agonyaunt

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My stepfather’s grandson’s wedding is black-tie optional, and my stepfather’s children are renting him a tux. My mom, who is 90, thought she would wear a nice pants outfit with a dressy jacket, and is resistant to buying something new. She has been through a lot this year (treatment for lymphoma, cancer surgery, and she recently fell and broke her pelvis, so she is in a lot of pain).

I and my three sisters (my mom’s only children) live on the opposite coast, but we are now being pressured by the mother of the groom (my stepfather’s daughter) and my stepfather to see that she is outfitted appropriately -- not just for the wedding, but also for the rehearsal dinner (cocktail attire) and the wedding breakfast to be held the day after the wedding.

They have also expressed concerns about the shoes my mother prefers (very safe, comfortable, but not at all dressy). My sister even heard my stepfather tell her that if she doesn’t get something new to wear, she can stay home and not attend the wedding or other events.

My mother doesn’t stand up for herself, unfortunately. Two of us will be traveling to see her soon, and plan to take her shopping. My sister is even purchasing a few things for my mom that she will bring with her, in the hopes that maybe something will fit and work for this event.

Personally, I think it is extremely superficial of them to dictate what she wears (especially since the wedding is six months from now!). If it were me, I would just be thrilled they are both well enough to attend, regardless of how they are dressed.

Is my mother wrong to resist the request to buy something more formal? Or should the step-family back off?

GENTLE READER: What happened to the “optional” part?

While Miss Manners always advocates dressing properly for the occasion -- and generally abhors “optional,” as it just invites chaos -- the particulars of your mother’s dress seem to be unduly fixated upon here. There is certainly a lot of undue angst being put into this poor woman’s wardrobe that seemingly requires three separate outfits and uncomfortable, possibly dangerous, shoes.

If your mother can reasonably be jollied into the shopping expedition or accepts one of your sister’s choices for one new outfit, fine. But if not, please talk to your stepfather about “backing off.” Surely this cannot really be worth all of this fuss.

[personal profile] penta posting in [community profile] factfinding
So, I have another character being drawn up (by another player) for the same game for which I posted highly detailed questions about Israel (admittedly probably too detailed) - only he's playing Russia, and he's trying to draw up a character who served in the Soviet Army as an officer semi-realistically. (It's *after* the character's military career that everything goes interesting.)

I want to write him a summary of the Soviet Army officer's career path, what service branches are available, etc., but nothing I can find tells me the basic stuff. It's all focused on generals and stuff. (Looked on Wiki, looked on Google, neither helped. I found a monograph on dtic.mil that was from 1975 and provided *some* detail, but expected me the reader to know more than I do to make sense of stuff.)

To quote his draft summary: "(1) Early life.  Born in 1959, he follows a similar course to Putin (joining the military instead, but attached as an "adviser" to one of the Soviet Bloc countries after a tour in Afghanistan which gave him a scar on his upper right arm from a Taliban attack).  He resigned with a TBD officer's rank in the middle of the 1991 coup attempt (a la Putin; he's simply younger) rather than join in the attempt (which he percieved as doomed)."

He's trying to figure it out in more detail than that, but the problem is that he (the player) and I (the GM, one of two, responsible for helping him draw up his character - he does the important work of figuring out policies and stuff, the meat of gameplay, himself) can't find anything much about anything re the company-grade and field-grade officers of the Soviet Army and how they were trained, or how their careers progressed, or anything.

In specific:

1. As the character was born in 1959, presume he enters officer training from civilian life sometime around 1977. How long is his officer training, and how is it decided whether he goes, say, infantry or airborne troops?

2. What's the career path like from initial officer training (including "what rank does he enter service at?" - the materials I can find state "Lieutenant", but the Soviet Army has 3 Lieutenant ranks!) to, say, battalion command?

3. What additional school-type training would he undergo during that career path, and at what times during his career? (I can help the player figure out good tour-of-duty mixes once I have that information.)

4. What service arms existed in the Soviet Army? I often hear of officers referred to as a "Colonel of Infantry", "Colonel of Air Defense", "Colonel of Strategic Rocket Forces" - but what are the possible options for the "of x" formula?

5. Were ordinary officers even assigned as "advisors" to Warsaw Pact forces, or only Political Officers?

I know these are really detailed questions in some regard. I'm trying to keep them general, but even the general stuff is hard to figure out. My objectives for this are:

A. Figure out what rank, highest, would have been plausible for what I'm currently thinking is a fairly obscure-ish Russian serving as a Soviet Army Officer from 1977-1991 - if the player wants lower, cool, but I as GM need to have a clue what's "too high".

B. Figure out what his career would have looked like - where would he have served, at what levels, doing what? (Especially key to figure out when he would have served in Afghanistan.)

C. Figure out if the early life posited is *plausible*.

I thus don't need to know deep details (at least not until a player requests a detailed bio of their Russian adversary from their intel people, at which point I may be back...), but only be able to work out a summary. I can do the hard part of the work myself and with the player, but I need help figuring out the foundational stuff before I begin that.

(Edited to add: Link to something Google *did* dredge up for me, and my note that what I was sent was a draft summary of the character, not a full bio. We'll be working on the full bio once we have the summary agreed to.)

Daily Happiness

Aug. 16th, 2017 01:15 am
torachan: ewan mcgregor pulling his glasses down to look over the top (ewan glasses)
[personal profile] torachan
1. Glad I went to bed early last night because I ended up having to go in to work before eight this morning to drive the forklift since someone called out sick and there was an early delivery before anyone else who could drive it was there.

2. Not getting to bed as early tonight, but definitely earlier than I have been, so I'm still counting that as progress.

3. Jasper is a cuddly baby but he is such a mommy's boy and pretty much only wants to cuddle with Carla. He used to cuddle with me when we first got him, but he formed a preference pretty early and while he allows me to hug him now, it doesn't usually last long. But tonight he came over to me and cuddled for quite a while! With his pur on at full volume and everything.

I was busy petting him and did not get any pictures, but here is one of him tolerating a hug the other day.

Savage Love

Aug. 16th, 2017 04:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Dan Savage

Woman's husband did a political one-eighty and is now a Trump supporter. by Dan Savage

I've been wondering: Since there are lesbians out there who occasionally crave cock, does the reverse also happen? Are there gay men who occasionally crave pussy?

This Possible?

There are gay men who watch football—hell, I have it on good authority that some gay men play football, TP. So anything is possible. (Also, there are lots of lesbian-identified bisexual women out there, a smaller number of gay-identified bisexual men, and a tiny handful of bisexual-identified football fans.)


I've been seeing a lot of articles in the media about men "dropping out of the dating-and-marriage game," and the conclusions always point to porn as the culprit. This seems like a simplistic explanation. Do you have an opinion on the effect of porn on men?

Pondering Porn

I dropped out of the forming-opinions-about-porn game—far too busy consuming porn these days, PP. It's the only way to keep myself sane here in Trumpsylvania.


I'm a 26-year-old woman. I started dating a fantastic guy a month ago, blah blah blah, we've already talked about marriage. The problem is that his dick isn't up to par size-wise or staying-hard-wise. He was aware of this before I came along, and it made him an enthusiastic and skilled oral performer to make up for it. So for now everything's great, plenty of orgasms, and we're lovey-dovey. But eventually I'll need that filled-up feeling and I'll have to ask for some dildo/extender/strap-on action. The question is when to ask. He's a secure guy, and we've both been honest about our flaws. If I wait too long to ask, it might make him think I've been faking the whole time. And if I ask too soon, I could scare him off or make his performance anxiety worse! How do I know when the right time is?

Half Full

If you were talking about marriage after a month, HF, odds are good this relationship is doomed anyway. So go ahead and ask for dildo/extender/strap-on action now. Don't say, "Circling back to your subpar dick, darling, I'm gonna need some compensatory dildo action soon." Instead say, "I'm into penetration toys, and I'm looking forward to getting into them with you—getting them into me, getting them into you. Anything you want to put on the menu, darling?"


Two friends can hook up with a girl or two girls from a bar and have a threesome or a foursome. But can two brothers—with opposite sexual preferences—hook up with a girl and a guy from a bar? Would this be considered wrong? No touching between siblings would occur.

Basic Bros

It would be considered wrong by some—but those people aren't you, your brother, or the girl and guy you hope to pick up together. Personally, BB, I can barely get an erection if one of my siblings is in the same zip code; I can't imagine getting one with a sibling in the same room. But if you're comfortable doing opposite-sexual-preferencey things in close proximity to your brother, go for it.


I am a bisexual man and recently divorced my wife of 30 years. I am currently seeing a very beautiful lady. I satisfy my bisexual desires by going to sex clubs and I always practice safe sex. I don't have an issue, I just wanted to tell you I remember one time when you had a column about two guys performing fellatio on another man at the same time. I found it to be such a turn-on and even fantasized I was doing it to you. Hope that doesn't offend you.

Loving Life

Um, thanks for sharing?


I'm having an extremely difficult time getting intimate with my boyfriend of four years. I'm in recovery for an eating disorder, and part of my treatment is Prozac. It's working great and helping me make healthier choices. However, the Prozac is severely affecting my sex drive. I have little to no desire to have sex. And when we do have sex, I rarely orgasm. This is frustrating and, frankly, harmful to my recovery process. I'm already dealing with my shitty eating disorder telling me that I'm fat, ugly, and not good enough for anyone, anything, or even a decent meal. Now it's taking sex away from me, too? I also feel terrible for my boyfriend, who is endlessly patient and understanding but wants to have sex. I've suggested opening up the relationship for his sake, but he doesn't want to do that. I feel guilty and sad and frustrated. Any thoughts?

Prozac Lover/Healer

If the benefits of Prozac (helping you make better choices and aiding your recovery process) are canceled out by the side effects (leaving you so sexually frustrated, it's harming your recovery process), PLH, you should talk to your doctor about other options—other drugs you could try or a lower dose of Prozac. If you doctor dismisses your concerns about the sexual side effects of the drug they've got you on, get a new doctor.


I have only one concern about Donald Trump getting impeached: Do we get Mike Pence? Is he not just as bad? Or worse? On a more personal note: I don't think I've gotten a good night's sleep since Trump got elected. I wake up every morning next to an avid, Fox News–watching Trump supporter. I'm married long-term (35 years!) to a man who pulled a political one-eighty. This is about to make me crazy. Really. I'm not kidding. Do you have any suggestions for me? I don't want to DTMFA. Although after a most nauseating discussion over dinner, I did actually give it some thought.

Liberal Grandma

Mike Pence, as awful as he is, oscillates within a predictable band of Republican awfulness. The reason no one is getting any sleep these days—not even folks who don't wake up next to Trump supporters—is because no one can predict what Trump will do next. Not even Trump. That's what makes his presidency such an existential nightmare.

As for your husband, LG, your choices are binary and rather stark: Either you divorce his ass and spare yourself the grief of listening to his bullshit, or you stay put, learn to tune out his bullshit, and cancel out his vote in 2018 and 2020.


What's the best dating site for a slightly cynical, tattooed, fortysomething woman looking for a guy?

Tattooed Lady

It depends on the kind of guy you want. Closet case? ChristianMingle. Fuck boy? Tinder. Trump voter? Farmers Only. Compulsive masturbator? Craigslist. Unfuckable loser who is now and will always be a socially maladapted virgin? Return of Kings.


On the Lovecast, Dr. Samantha Joel on the psychology of ending relationships: savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net

@fakedansavage

ITMFA.org

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This Week in Fandom, Volume 59

Aug. 15th, 2017 03:09 pm
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This Week in Fandom

This Week in Fandom: Hugo Awards wins for women of colour, casting news for the Good Omens tv series, and more: https://goo.gl/ehCxxZ

Daily Happiness

Aug. 15th, 2017 12:44 am
torachan: an avatar of me done scott pilgrim style (scott pilgrim style me)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I made curry for dinner tonight and it was so delicious, plus now we have a ton of leftovers. It's so nice to have the weather cool enough that I actually don't mind cooking.

2. I had a nice relaxing day off.

3. I'm really tired, so I'm going to go to bed early tonight and hope that maybe helps get me back on a schedule where I'm going to bed between twelve and one and not like at three like I did yesterday.

4. Lately Molly has rediscovered the back of the sofa.

2017 Election Results

Aug. 14th, 2017 06:04 pm
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[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
OTW contested election banner




The Elections Committee is proud to present the following new Directors: Claire P. Baker, Danielle Strong, and Jessie Camboulives. Learn more here: https://goo.gl/tr4ej4
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[personal profile] turlough
She's not scared, though.

Everyone's fine except Poison, and Ray tells her he's had worse.

So there's really nothing to be scared about, and she's not.

She's seven now, probably, or close enough that she's too old to be scared of stupid stuff like that. Definitely too old to be scared of the dark. Ray doesn't say anything when she creeps into his room that night, though - just scoots over on the mattress and tucks his hair behind him so it's not taking up the whole pillow.

When Poison finally wakes up the next afternoon, wrecked and pale, the first thing he says is: "Shitfucking cocksucker."

The second thing, after Kobra tells him what happened, is: "We gotta teach the kid how to drive."


- [archiveofourown.org profile] zrt's measured out in miles
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Fandom Haven Story Archive banner




The Fandom Haven Story Archive, a multifandom fanfiction archive, is being imported to AO3. Learn more here: https://goo.gl/9KSKtf

Daily Happiness

Aug. 14th, 2017 02:42 am
torachan: a kitten looking out the window (chloe in window)
[personal profile] torachan
1. It's my day off tomorrow and I have no plans to go anywhere, which is just the way I like it!

2. Rick and Morty was pretty good tonight. I think this was probably the weakest of the season so far, but there has been a lot of stiff competition.

3. Chloe snoot!

The Summer Prince

Aug. 13th, 2017 11:38 am
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[personal profile] yatima has been carrying all the water around here, and shouldn't have to.

Earlier this week, I finished Alaya Dawn Johnson's The Summer Prince. I have had this book by my bed for months and months and months. I would pick it up, read some, like it, and then get distracted. Finally, I decided it was too good for that kind of treatment and got serious about moving through it.

It is an excellent and fascinating book, even though it never really grabbed me. The worldbuilding is awesome and the depiction of the inner lives of teenagers, affected by the different world they live in and nonetheless completely recognizable as the teenagers of our times, is especially well done. The The prose is beautiful and the evocation of the city is outstanding. The setting is a post-apocalyptic Brazil and effectively everyone is (from our perspective) PoC; Johnson explores class divisions and to some extent national divisions, but the key cultural rift she explores is age.

I can't quite figure out why it didn't have momentum for me, and I expect that will be different for other people. I found it well worth the comparatively slow going, and will probably re-read it at some point. 



Five Things Chien Said

Aug. 13th, 2017 12:38 pm
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Five Things an OTW Volunteer Said

In Five Things, Chien discusses life as an OTW volunteer without wifi, & how her work can be a conversation starter https://goo.gl/zSvj6r


Daily Happiness

Aug. 13th, 2017 12:44 am
torachan: aradia from homestuck (aradia)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I made pancakes for breakfast this morning and they were soooo tasty. I don't really like American style pancakes that much, but I love the super fluffy Japanese ones. We were watching a video on youtube last night that made us both want pancakes and luckily there was a bag of Morinaga pancake mix in the cupboard. :D

2. Today was waaaaaay less hectic than yesterday. One person did call in sick, but it wasn't a big deal.

3. It's so chilly tonight I'm actually wearing a sweater here at my desk, which I haven't done in over a month. I just took a look at the forecast and they're saying nothing higher than mid-high seventies for the next ten days, which would be awesome if true. I do worry about another mercilessly hot autumn like we had two years ago (where it was blazing hot into November) but I'm hoping it stays mild.

4. I looked up above my desk the other day and Jasper was at this perfect angle where all I could see was feet and tail. So cute!

1 link from Nicola Griffith

Aug. 13th, 2017 02:20 am
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Nicola Griffith:

An Open Letter to All Writing Programmes, Workshops, and Retreats (July 27, 2017)

https://nicolagriffith.com/2017/07/27/an-open-letter-to-all-writing-programmes-workshops-and-retreats

So here’s a public promise: after I have fulfilled my immediate contractual obligations, I will no longer support in any way any writing-related programme or organisation that does not have a public commitment to and specific timetable for becoming accessible. I will call on other writers to do the same.
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Australians of my generation have a particular reason to be fond of Journey to the West and it is the gloriously daft Japanese adaptation that was replayed endlessly on after-school TV. (For many queer Australians of my generation, myself included, Masako Natsume, the woman who played Tripitaka, is a pivotal figure in our secret lives.) The Monkey King resurfaces in Gene Luen Yang's graphic novel American Born Chinese, one of the books that taught my younger kid to read. (I was especially touched when in Yang's book, the three wise men who attended the birth of Jesus turned out to be Monkey and his friends Sandy and Pigsy. I'm a sucker for good crossover fanfic.)

All this to say that The Epic Crush of Genie Lo is yet another delightful take on Journey to the West, this time set in the hyper-competitive high schools of the Bay Area. Monkey is now Quentin, a handsome, short, brilliant and very annoying teenager who kept reminding me of Miles Vorkosigan, in a good way. Genie herself has a surprising connection with him, but is a three-dimensional character in her own right, with a sense of honor and complicated relationships with her parents and friends. Her efforts to balance college applications with supernatural obligations had a Buffy-ish resonance, and the various Gods and demons showing up in modern America will please Neil Gaiman fans. I found this a quick and enjoyable read.

December 2015

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